sam’s breaking up with his girlfriend this week.

sam’s officially back in my life as my best friend this week.

i’m officially here again wondering what my feelings for him are.

i really honestly don’t know. i’m uncomfortable thinking about us physically?

and i’m not necessarily strongly attracted to him physically.

but…

mentally and maybe spiritually…

there’s something there. maybe.

i can’t say i know what it is. i can say that drunk naomi would not hesitate to try and find out via making out with him. i know drunk me well enough to realize that is an inevitability should i ever get drunk around him.

i think this is going to be a really interesting summer, to say the least. i don’t know if i’ll find out what it is between us, if we just really are that close or what. maybe he’s my twin flame. maybe i found my soul mate.

but that doesn’t mean i have to marry him. that doesn’t mean i have to be IN love with him. I definitely love and care for him deeply, but I really don’t know that it’s a romantic sort of love. i don’t know what kind of love it is. i don’t think there’s a word in english to properly describe it, in any case.

i’m just rambling now.

goodnight.

(this is the happiest i’ve been in a while)

 

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