Dads sitting in the office alone crying. Moms down in florida with family preparing for the funeral. Grace wont leave the kitchen, coping by cooking as many of grams’ old recipes as she can. I dont know what elyse is doing but shes barely responding to my texts. Mitch is sitting at the table eating, an outsider experiencing the discomfort of the storm. Im sitting down in front of the fireplace, also eating but feeling a little more alone. Grieving looks different for everybody, but im not sure how it looks for me. It’s hitting me in waves. There are long moments in the day where i feel fine and like things are ok and then it’ll hit me and ill het hit back down again crying. It doesnt really feel real yet. And on top of this i dont have my supporter. Because thats the best word i could use to describe sam besides brother. Hes my supporter. And i dont have him right now. And i feel like i dont really have anyone. Everyone is busy and has plans because its winter break and i just need someone to vent to let it all out to and to hug and i dont feel like i have that right now and it fucking sucks.
Wrote this one a week ago too. Wrote a lot of things i didnt post but ill get them up eventually. This week has been easier but to be fair ive been working 9 hr shifts every day which helps keep your mind off of things. Espcially when you work with people as great as i do. 


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