god dammit

god dammit I’m in deep again.

swimming in his eyes

trying to dig myself beneath his skin

worming my way into his heart

but I can’t tell if I’m hitting clay or if the shovel is growing dull

or if I’m really as successful at this treasure hunt as I think I am

all I really know is that if I could talk to him all day I would

imaging what it would feel like for his arms to be around my waist,

picturing all the silly, weird little things he does,

thinking about how stupid and how adorable he is at the same time…

god dammit, am I in deep again.

look it’s another shit poem!!! lol but anyway yeah lately i’ve been finding myself caring less and less about potential risks and about rejection and about if we would be good together because oh my god dammit am i a sucker. and i really feel like he’s a sucker for me too sometimes. his face almost lit up when he saw that i was in work today (no one knew i was coming in, i had to cover last minute) and i don’t know why but i almost was challenging him all afternoon with unwavering eye contact and you know how sometimes it’s like you’re talking with your eyes? It could be total bogus and me being hopeful but i completely 100% felt something there. and i don’t know. it’s like this feeling is just growing too big. it’s taking up too much space in my chest to just let it keep sitting there taking up space and collecting dust and I have to let out soon. and that means saying something. To him. and i don’t know. I feel like i’ll probably do it soonish. before december? i don’t know. i just know i’m falling hard and fast and digging myself a grave right about now.

God. Dammit.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s