Changes

(This is a draft I never posted/finished from June of 2014.)

Yesterday at approximately 7:30 PM I graduated from Jr. High. I got my certificate that someone spent probably ten minutes spelling out my name on in calligraphy and I got a few pictures with my friends and I realized how close everything is. High School, driving, adventures, freedom, parties, relationships… new things. All new things. The amount of change and all the new and different things that are waiting for me is scary. But what I think might be scarier was my realization as I stood in line with my classmates waiting to enter the gym as the sunset was that before I know it this will be nothing but a memory. It already is. It happened and now it’s gone. When I look back over just this year, let alone the last four, I’m amazed and slightly terrified at how fast it’s managed to go. It’s all slipped through my fingers like sand and now trying to find those tiny grains again is hopeless.

I remember feeling like this moment where I am right now was an eternity away, that life couldn’t be moving any more slowly. I wanted it to speed it up, and now all I want is for it to slow down. Yes I’m excited for the future but I know that at the end of the line is just that; the end. With each year I’m closer and closer to that deadline, to being at a place where this is moment right now is a forever ago and this moment right now will be fuzzy and unclear; slippery and hard to remember.

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